Call Center Jobs

PEOPLE WONDER WHY THEY ARE PAID SO MUCH FOR JUST BEING ON THE PHONE. TAKE A LOOK:

1) Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer: "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer "No." Tech Support:: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you
have
done up until this
point?"

Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."


2) Customer: "I received the software update you sent,but I am still
getting the same error
message.
" Tech Support:" Did you install the update?"
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"


3). Customer: "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."
TechSupport:: "Tell me what you've done."
Customer: "I typed 'A:SETUP'."!
Tech Support:: "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."
Customer:: "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."
Tech Support:: "Insert the MS Word setup disk."
Customer:: "What?"
Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"
Customer: "No..."

4). Customer:: "Do I need a computer to use your software?"
TechSupport:: ?!%#$


5). Tech Support:: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen,can
you
see the 'OK'
button displayed?"

Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"

6) Tech Support:: "What type of computer do you have?"
Customer:: "A white one."

7). Tech Support:: "Type 'A:' at the prom pt."
Customer:: "How do you spell that?"

8 ) Tech Support: "What's on your screen right now?"
Customer: "A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me at the grocery
store."

9). Tech Support:: "What operating system are you running?"
Customer: "Pentium."

10). Customer: "My computer's telling me I performed an
illegal abortion."


11) Customer: "I have Microsoft Exploder."

12) Customer: "How do I print my voice mail?"

13) Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print
document, but the computer won't boot properly."
Tech Support: "What does it say?"
Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk."
Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"
Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel
inside."

14). Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24
hours."
Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"

15). Tech Support:: "What does the screen say now?"
Customer: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
Tech Support:: "Well?"
Customer: "How do I know when it's ready?"


16). A plain computer illiterate guy rings tech support to report that
this computer is faulty.
Tech: What's the problem?
User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.

Tech: You'll need a new power supply.
User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.
Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it.
User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the
startup and it will fix the probl em! All I need is for you to tell me the command.

10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The
tech
is frustrated and
fed up.

Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our
Customers this, but there is an undocumented DOS command that will
fix
the problem.
User: I knew it!
Tech: Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM at the end of the
CONFIG.SYS. Letme know how it goes.


10 minutes later.
User: It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.
Tech: Well, what version of DOS are you using?
User: MS-DOS 6.22.
Tech: That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't come
with NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you the file. Let me know how it goes.

1 hour later.
User: I need a new power supply.
Tech: How did you come to that conclusion?
User: Well, I rang Microsoft and told h im about what you said, and
he started asking questions about the make of power supply.


Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?

===============

Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates, damn it!

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Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...

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Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.


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Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me in the supermarket.

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Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work

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Tech support: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?

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Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.

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Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.

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Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

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Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

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A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."

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And last but not least:....

Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!