One Sided

It’s already a mistake

To even begin with

Yet we both took the risk

Not knowing where it would lead

I opened up to you

Your doors are shut for me

I gave my everything

You took what’s left of me

Often times I just wish

That you would make me feel

A bit important to you

And what we have is real

Still nothing has changed

Everything stayed the same

I’ve been patient and hopeful

But to you it’s just a game

Maybe things will get better

I’m giving us a chance

But our song is ending

This could be our final dance

You don’t really love me

You never even cared

So I just closed my eyes

To feelings you didn’t spared

You once told me that

We need some time apart

But life without each other

That would be a better start

We need to break up

That’s what I’ve decided

This ain’t going to work

It’s just so one sided

Inside My Heart

When darkness spreads over the sky

and the birds stop chirping from above...

When everything has quiet down

and all I hear is the ticking of the clock...

Just before I rest my weary eyes

I clasp my hands and bow my head...

I whisper to God my simple prayer

and thank Him for placing you

inside my heart.

Indefinitely

when i woke up, i hurriedly check on the screen

to see if i got some email from the one unseen.

when i see the messages button turns to red

if it's from someone else, i wish it's from you instead.

reading letters from you, it is a part of my day

it never ceases to make me smile i should say.

that day when i was so feeling sad and lonely

even when you're busy you spent time with me.

at my corniest jokes, you still laugh at them

understanding each other, makes us a tandem.

though we're miles away and hours apart

you are always here inside my beating heart.

i am your dear and you are my sweetie

you and me, together forever... indefinitely.

Everything to Nothing

I gave you you my everything

but you took it all away from me

and left me with nothing.

I offered you all of my love

but you threw it back to my face

and said you don't want it.

I handed you my broken heart

but instead of putting it together

you tore it apart even more.

i've waited for you

but you will never come back.

i've cried for you

but it can never bring you back.

what we had was something delightful

but it's gone now, blown by the wind.

what you are to me was something beautiful

but it's gone now, washed by the tides.

what i am to you was something wonderful

but it's gone now, not even in your memories.

i was your everything but now

i am down to a merely nothing...

In Spite Of It All

even when your eyes were crying

you cheered me up with your kind words.

even when your face was frowning

you managed to make me smile anew.

even when you are feeling down

you pulled me up to my feet again.

even you were stuck in a situation

you gently taught me how to move on.

even when your heart was aching

you comforted me with your sweetness.

Unknowingly, you eased my pain.

Selflessly, you made me happy.

Passionately, you moved me from idleness.

In spite of all your heartaches and disappointments,

you unselfishly helped me overcome a mountain.

Thanks to you!

New Found Friend

you just crossed my path unexpectedly.

you made me smile and laugh.

you helped me forget about her.

it felt like i've known you for a long time.

thank you so much for the friendship.

i'll always remember this day.

Come Back

How can I forget you

when all I can think of is you?

You're always in my mind and in my dreams.

How can I find someone new

when all I ever wanted is you?

You're the one I need, not a fresh start.

How can I not miss you

when all I long for is you?

You're a part of me that makes me complete.

How can I not love you

when all I can do is fall for you?

You're the reason why my heart beats fast.

How can I even move on

when all ever I do is cry for you?

You're my life... my evertyhing...

Please come back to me.

Everything Ends

a knot tied at my neck

a chair kicked down

a closed wind path

gasping for air to breath

trying not to struggle

everything dims

everything ends

a sharp thin blade

a slit on the wrist

a rushing blood spurts

fingers start to numb

twitching and trembling

everything blurs

everything ends

a cold shinning barrel

a blast on the temple

a tainted red wall

lying down inanimate

will grow pale soon

everything dies

everything ends

When You Say "I Miss You"

When I think of you, everything seems brighter.

My weariness fades and my problems forgotten.

When I look at you, everything falls into place.

My heart beats faster and the time stands still.

When I say your name, everything sounds better.

My lips turn into a smile and inside me is a bliss.

But when you say "I miss you"...

Blue becomes a pallet of vibrant colors...

Broken parts are perfectly puzzled up...

Tears dry up and replaced with laughter...

Shattered hopes form into a dream...

Unwanted, now being cared and loved.

Moving On

It has been months since you left me.

It felt like it was just yesterday.

The pain is still as intense.

My eyes are dried up but

my heart never ceases to cry.

I'm still calling out your name.

I'm still hoping you would return.

I'm still dreaming of you all day.

How can I forget you when all I do is think of you?

How can I find someone new when all I want is you?

How can I move on when all I want is to be with you?

Sometimes

sometimes i feel tired of my life.

sometimes i feel tired of being alone.

sometimes i feel tired of doing failures.

sometimes i feel tired of my stupidity.

sometimes i feel tired of being stubborn.

sometimes i feel tired of doing nothing.

and often times i'm just tired of being alive.

First Three Stanzas

Nung una kitang makita, sayo ako ay natulala

Akala ko'y ika'y anghel na bumaba bigla sa lupa.

Nang ikaw'y aking lapitan 'di mo 'ko pinapansin,

Ang aking mga ngiti lumilipad lamang sa hangin.

Nagdaan ang mga araw at ikaw ay namimiss ko

Walang ibang hiling kung 'di ikaw'y makatabi ko.

Sana dinggin ng May Kapal ang aking pagdarasal

Na ako'y iyong ibigin kahit na ito ay bawal.

Buksan mo man ang aking puso at aking isipan,

Walang ibang makikita kundi ang iyong pangalan.

'Di man dumating ang panahon na ako'y iyong ibigin.

Asahan mong ikaw pa rin ang aking mamahalin.

To be continued...

The First Time

In a crowded place, you stand out from the rest.

I was looking at you, trying to catch your eyes.

You looked passed me but still I gave you a smile.

The time went by yet my eyes are still on you.

I wanted to ask for your name and your number

But I was too afraid that you might ignore me.

I really wanted to stay longer but I have to leave.

As I left my chair I glanced at you once again,

Hoping for the last time you would notice me.

I found myself thinking so much about you.

I was wondering what could be your name.

I was praying that we would meet again.

That was the very first time I saw you.

And from that moment on, I started missing you.

I Wanna

I wanna be the one to hold your hand

when you feel all alone and sad.

I wanna be the one to dry your tears

and kiss away all those fears.

I wanna be the one to catch you if you fall,

I will be there even if i have to crawl.

I wanna be the one who makes you laugh

when things with you are rough.

I wanna be the one to sit beside you

when you're feeling happy or blue.

I wanna be the one who makes your life colorful

even if you want it all purple.

Be it sunny or stormy weather...

Be it a smooth or bumpy road...

Even if I have to swim or fly...

No matter what...

I will always be there for you,

You can count on that.

Stellar

by: aymtorn

Not long time ago, you came into my life
But it felt like I've known you forever.
And the moment I touched your hand
I just know I will fall in love with you.

No palette of shades can paint my heart
Nor amount of words can ever describe
How madly, deeply in love I am with you.
I will trade anything just to see you smile.

You're the best thing that ever happened to me
And I don't want to live my life without you.
I don't care what will tomorrow bring
As long as you are there beside me.

I am sorry if at times we don't get along
And I'm sorry if at times I make you sad.
It's just that sometimes I don't feel
I am that important to you at all.

But I can never stop myself dreaming of you.
My care for you will not come to an end.
Know that my feelings for you are true
And I will spend my lifetime in love with you...

Searching for Nothing

aymtorn

The oceans of air I’ve cruised
To unfold all my miseries.
Through the mountains I’ve soared,
To look what’s missing in me.

In the deepest blue sea I dove,
To fill this loneliness in me.
The desolate desert I’ve traveled,
To find quench for my thirst.

Through the blinding sun I stared,
To see if life is worth living.
Over the vast dark sky I gazed,
To know why am I in agony.

My mind flew in a land of nowhere,
To seek answers to my questions.
I’ve searched high and low,
Hoping my emptiness will be filled.

But I know my search is in vain,
For life without you is nothing.

Saturdays

aymtorn

I start my week on Mondays
With a grateful and joyful heart
Because I’ll be seeing your smiles.
They are lovely and enchanting.

But Tuesdays are cloudy gray.
Days are gloomy without you.
My heart is melancholic because
You are no where to be found.

Wednesdays are anticipated.
I get to hear your voice and
Your laughter is like a sweet
Music to my ears – saccharine!

Thursdays are bluer than blue.
The sun doesn’t shine on me.
Days grow long and nights are
Longer without you here beside me.

Fridays have colors everywhere.
I can see rainbows in your eyes.
I drown with it but I can never
Tire myself just gazing at them.

But I love Saturdays the most.
It’s when I can spend time with you.
It’s the time I can be close to you.
Just You and Me and nothing else.

Then I end my week on Sundays
With prayers and hopes that time
Will flyby on days without you
And time will slow down on Saturdays.

020708.2.23.PM

Nothing Else Matters

aymtorn

The smiles we shared…
every laugh we had will always be cherished.
Our walks together…
every stride of it will always be remembered.
The memories we had…
every memory we’ll make will be treasured.

I don’t know what you did to me…
I don’t know what I am to you…
I don't know if I love you that much...
But I do know I’m happy and nothing else matters…
When I’m with you…

01.24.08.5.45.PM

No More

aymtorn

i've tried my best
for us to be together.
find every single way
just to be with you.
but what did you do?
you broke my heart in two.

you've caused so much pain in my heart.
pain that i could barely take.
and now you say you're so sorry.
not all forgiveness leads to a healed relationship.
you want us back to where we were before?
i tell you now...
f#$% y@# i don't want it no more!

You Don't Exist

aymtorn

It has been a while since
you've brought me pain.
'Twas living in sadness,
walking under the rain.

But now I'm healing
and it's almost over.
'Twas very hard and
thought i can't recover.

You've started to
fade in my mind at last.
Nothing to remember
but a thing in the past.

In the chambers of my
heart you ceased to appear.
Nothing for me to feel,
and so i dont have to fear.

Do I love you still?
What's there to ask for?
I can't remember you
'cause you dont exist anymore.