Once

For once in my life I wasn't scared.

I once felt so important and alive.

You believed in me when many did not.

For once someone really cared for me.

For once I could smile and laugh.

For once I was wanted and needed.

My heart so joyfully sings with content.

When everything were so perfectly fitted

Fate played a different tune for us.

Once you did loved me or maybe not at all.

Because you left me with nothing but lies.

My world fell apart and my heart crushed.

You found someone else while I... sadness.

Once I'm done crying...

Once I'm done trying...

The world would start to smile at me again.

Once I'm over you...

Once I get through...

Love will wink and wave at me to start anew.

Do You Remember - Jay Sean

I’ve been thinking about you
And how we used to be then
Back when we didn’t have to end we could start again

There’s nothing left to say
Don’t waste another day
Just you and me tonight
Everything will be okay
If it’s alright with you then it’s alright with me
Baby let’s take this time let’s make new memories

(Lets go..)
Do you remember do you remember do you remember
All of the times we had
Do you remember do you remember do you remember
All of the times we had
Let’s bring it back (Bring it back!)
Let’s bring it back (Bring it back!)
Let’s bring it back (Bring it back!)
Let’s bring it back (Bring it back!)
Let’s bring it back...

(Yo Jay Sing, for these ladies!)

So long since you’ve been missing
It’s good to see you again
How you, how you doing
And how about we, don’t let this happen again...

(Lets go...)

There’s nothing left to say
Don’t waste another day
Just you and me tonight
Everything will be okay
If it’s alright with you then (hey) it’s alright with me (hey)
Baby let’s take this time (hey) let’s make new memories

(Lets go...)

Do you remember do you remember (Hey) do you remember (Oh yeah)
All of the times we had
Do you remember (Hey) do you remember do you remember (Hey)
All of the times we had
Let’s bring it back (Bring it back!) (Oh!)
Let’s bring it back (Bring it back!) (Oh!)
Let’s bring it back (Bring it back!) (Oh!)
Let’s bring it back (Bring it back!) (Oh!)

Yo ay girl yo bring it back to the time when you and me had just begun
When I was still your number one
Well it might seem far-fetched baby girl but it can be done
I’ve got this feeling fire blazing and it’s hot just like the sun
Know you feel it too my girl just free it up, mek the good vibes run
Gal take a sip of my champagne,
Take a little trip down my lane my girl
wild'n out every night and we feel alright,
mek me tell you this girl, That a my world.
nah change and we nah rearrange, hey girl mek me tell you this straight that a my word,
and me heard say you want come kiss this, cause girl you miss this

That’s what I heard (I heard)
that’s what I heard (I heard)
that’s what I heard (I heard)word girl

Tonight,
There’s nothing left to say
Don’t waste another day (Hey)
Just you and me tonight (Hey)
Everything will be okay (Hey)
If it’s alright with you (Hey) then it’s alright with me (Hey) Baby let’s take this time (Hey) let’s make new memories

(Lets go...)

Do you remember do you remember do you remember
All of the times we had
Do you remember (Hey) do you remember do you remember (Hey)
All of the times we had
Let’s bring it back (Let’s bring it back)
Let’s bring it back (Bring it back)
Let’s bring it back (Let’s bring it back)
Let’s bring it back (Oh)
Let’s bring it back

Dating

It has been awhile since I last dated. Actually, I can't even remember when was the last time I went out on a date. But when a friend told me awhile ago that her friend wants to go out with me, it kinda made me smile. I mean it's so nice to know that someone would really want to go out with me. The girl was just waiting for me to ask her out. I must admit, it gave me a wonderful feeling.

Indefinitely

when i woke up, i hurriedly check on the screen

to see if i got some email from the one unseen.

when i see the messages button turns to red

if it's from someone else, i wish it's from you instead.

reading letters from you, it is a part of my day

it never ceases to make me smile i should say.

that day when i was so feeling sad and lonely

even when you're busy you spent time with me.

at my corniest jokes, you still laugh at them

understanding each other, makes us a tandem.

though we're miles away and hours apart

you are always here inside my beating heart.

i am your dear and you are my sweetie

you and me, together forever... indefinitely.

God will always be BIGGER!

In life, we will always get disappointed, frustrated, hurt, and heart broken. We will always have problems to deal with and no matter how we try to escape from it, in the end, we'll always have to face it. But it doesn't matter how many times these obstacles bring us down on the ground, what's important is we'll always have to push ourselves up to stand again and learn from our mistakes. Whether we like it or not, they will always come in to our lives once in awhile if not that often. But these problems mold us into a better person. And God will never give us problems that we can never handle. Yes, often times when we face big problems, we tend to question God why it had to happen. Why is it so hard for us to thank God instead? That in spite of it, He will always help us to conquer that big problem. Because no matter how big our problem is, our God will always be BIGGER!

Everything to Nothing

I gave you you my everything

but you took it all away from me

and left me with nothing.

I offered you all of my love

but you threw it back to my face

and said you don't want it.

I handed you my broken heart

but instead of putting it together

you tore it apart even more.

i've waited for you

but you will never come back.

i've cried for you

but it can never bring you back.

what we had was something delightful

but it's gone now, blown by the wind.

what you are to me was something beautiful

but it's gone now, washed by the tides.

what i am to you was something wonderful

but it's gone now, not even in your memories.

i was your everything but now

i am down to a merely nothing...

In Spite Of It All

even when your eyes were crying

you cheered me up with your kind words.

even when your face was frowning

you managed to make me smile anew.

even when you are feeling down

you pulled me up to my feet again.

even you were stuck in a situation

you gently taught me how to move on.

even when your heart was aching

you comforted me with your sweetness.

Unknowingly, you eased my pain.

Selflessly, you made me happy.

Passionately, you moved me from idleness.

In spite of all your heartaches and disappointments,

you unselfishly helped me overcome a mountain.

Thanks to you!

New Found Friend

you just crossed my path unexpectedly.

you made me smile and laugh.

you helped me forget about her.

it felt like i've known you for a long time.

thank you so much for the friendship.

i'll always remember this day.

Come Back

How can I forget you

when all I can think of is you?

You're always in my mind and in my dreams.

How can I find someone new

when all I ever wanted is you?

You're the one I need, not a fresh start.

How can I not miss you

when all I long for is you?

You're a part of me that makes me complete.

How can I not love you

when all I can do is fall for you?

You're the reason why my heart beats fast.

How can I even move on

when all ever I do is cry for you?

You're my life... my evertyhing...

Please come back to me.

Fliptop

So exhausted. I can't think and write. Just watching Fiptop on Youtube. I'm not really hooked into it but I'm starting to like the English battles they have.

Everything Ends

a knot tied at my neck

a chair kicked down

a closed wind path

gasping for air to breath

trying not to struggle

everything dims

everything ends

a sharp thin blade

a slit on the wrist

a rushing blood spurts

fingers start to numb

twitching and trembling

everything blurs

everything ends

a cold shinning barrel

a blast on the temple

a tainted red wall

lying down inanimate

will grow pale soon

everything dies

everything ends

When You Say "I Miss You"

When I think of you, everything seems brighter.

My weariness fades and my problems forgotten.

When I look at you, everything falls into place.

My heart beats faster and the time stands still.

When I say your name, everything sounds better.

My lips turn into a smile and inside me is a bliss.

But when you say "I miss you"...

Blue becomes a pallet of vibrant colors...

Broken parts are perfectly puzzled up...

Tears dry up and replaced with laughter...

Shattered hopes form into a dream...

Unwanted, now being cared and loved.

Something's Wrong

Very irritable. That's what I've noticed to myself. Could be because of my hyperthyroidism? Maybe I'm just so frustrated right now that things aren't going my way. Maybe a little of both. No matter the reason, it's making me seclude myself from others. I wanted to be alone and see no one. Just hanging out in my room. If not sleeping, doing nothing or be infront of my lappy. I'm not really sad but neither happy. Something's wrong with me. Maybe I should see a shrink.

Hybernation

For the past days I feel really tired and lousy. I feel sleepy of the time. Yesterday I slept 12 hours. But instead of feeling refreshed, I still feel weak and very passive. I'm becoming regretful and frustrated. So many thing I wished I've done in my life. So many things I want to be undone.

Right now I want to disappear. Maybe go to a place where no one knows me or sleep for weeks without waking up. But then again everything would still be the same. Not unless I will do something to change things. How can I? I don't have the slightest drive.

So empty. So incomplete. Messed up. Cracked up.

Getting Really Tired

Months have pass and I've really grown tired of my life. All same old routine. Everything means nothing. No direction and no drive at all. This is bull541t!

It's Not Over

I was blown away.
What could I say?
It all seemed to make sense.
You've taken away everything,
And I can't deal with that.
I try to see the good in life,
But good things in life are hard to find.
We'll blow it away, blow it away.
Can we make this something good?
Well, I'll try to do it right this time around.

Let's start over.
I'll try to do it right this time around.
It's not over.
'Cause a part of me is dead and in the ground.
This love is killing me,
But you're the only one.
It's not over.

Taken all I could take,
And I cannot wait.
We're wasting too much time
Being strong, holding on.
Can't let it bring us down.
My life with you means everything,
So I won't give up that easily.
I'll blow it away, blow it away.
Can we make this something good?
'Cause it's all misunderstood.
Well, I'll try to do it right this time around.

Let's start over.
I'll try to do it right this time around.
It's not over.
'Cause a part of me is dead and in the ground.
This love is killing me,
But you're the only one.
It's not over.

We can't let this get away.
Let it out, let it out.
Don't get caught up in yourself.
Let it out.

Let's start over.
I'll try to do it right this time around.
It's not over.
'Cause a part of me is dead and in the ground.
This love is killing me,
But you're the only one.
It's not over.

Let's start over.
It's not over, yeah...
This love is killing me,
But you're the only one.
Its not over...

I'm still hoping it's not over between me and her. You're still hoping it's not over between you and him. Why does love get so complicated like this?

Goodbye - Secondhand Serenade

It's a shame that it had to be this way

It's not enough to say I'm sorry
It's not enough to say I'm sorry

Maybe I'm so blind or maybe we're the same
But either way I can't breathe
Either way I can't breathe

All I had to say is goodbye
We're better off this way
We're better off this way

I'm alive but I'm losing all my drive
'Cause everything we've been through
It's everything about you

Seem to be a lie, a countless, twisted lie
That made me learn to hate you
I hate myself for letting it pass by

All I had to say is goodbye
We're better off this way
We're better off this way

All I had to say is goodbye
We're better off this way
We're better off this way, hey

And every, everything isn't only what it seems
So hope these words that you never told me
It's time to say goodbye, it's time to say goodbye
It's time to say goodbye, goodbye, goodbye

Take my pain away
Tell me I, tell me I was wrong
Tell me I was wrong

Take my pain away
Tell me I, tell me I was wrong
Tell me I was wrong

Take my pain away
Tell me I, tell me I was wrong
Tell me I was wrong

Take my pain away
Tell me I, tell me I was wrong
Tell me I was wrong

Moving On

It has been months since you left me.

It felt like it was just yesterday.

The pain is still as intense.

My eyes are dried up but

my heart never ceases to cry.

I'm still calling out your name.

I'm still hoping you would return.

I'm still dreaming of you all day.

How can I forget you when all I do is think of you?

How can I find someone new when all I want is you?

How can I move on when all I want is to be with you?

Sometimes

sometimes i feel tired of my life.

sometimes i feel tired of being alone.

sometimes i feel tired of doing failures.

sometimes i feel tired of my stupidity.

sometimes i feel tired of being stubborn.

sometimes i feel tired of doing nothing.

and often times i'm just tired of being alive.

Happy New Year!

Happy New Year!!!

A new beginning for me I hope. A better year than the previous one. A much better person and a good Christian in particular. I haven't been gone to church for a long time. I really really hope I could go to church on a regular basis. I pray I get to find a stable job. Bury the ill feelings, hatred, frustrations and self-pity. Face this new year with full of hopes and dreams. Aja! Aja!

Thank you Lord for this new year. I pray that you would continue to mold me into someone you want me to be. Make me a better person and a better Christian. Let your light shine upon me so that other may see how wonderful and marvelous You are.